So an old school friend asked me if I could write something to explain this picture.
The groom, Igor, was on his way to his wedding when he saw the precariously balanced army truck.
Knowing only he could save the day, he reached into his first-aid kit to retrieve his portable Singer, posing only briefly to allow his rescue triumph to be recorded by Reuters. Minutes later, with all hems restored to their rightful status, the groom resumed his journey.
Unfortunately he was jilted at the altar by Svetlana, his would-be bride (who decided to run away with Mikhail, a reckless cartographer with a penchant for deep-fried sushi and part-time phlebotomy).
The army truck slipped into the Volga with all hands lost. At least their uniforms were in first-first rate condition, thanks to Igor's quick-thinking.
Svetlana and Mikhail married, quarrelled and ultimately split up after Mikhail's dodgy gender reassignment surgery went bad. Stress can ruin any relationship.
Igor went on to become a world-class bridge player and philatelist, earning a Nobel prize for his Phd thesis titled "Ikebana and MMA: a cultural cross-roads viewed from a Marxist/Feminist perspective" ("Икебана и ММА: культурный перекресток смотреть с марксистской / феминистской точки зрения").
Igor is currently carving a successful career as a Barry Manilow impersonator, having just been eliminated in the fourth round of of "Russia's Got Talent" ("Россия имеет талант").
Mikhail has returned to cartography in a big way and found true love with Sergei, a travelling castanet mime-artist.
Svetlana is working at the Moscow central train station, hoping to make assistant deputy comptroller before retirement. She doodles pictures of arrows and cylinders in her spare time.
A class action has been lodged against Igor by the Friends And Relatives Of Uniformed Troops Deceased Under Disastrously Evil Stitching (FAR OUT DUDES). Slater and Gordon have been retained for this action in tort (citing the case of Grant -v- Australian Knitting Mills) and contract (the Carbolic Smoke Ball case). Vladimir Putin has vowed to re-imprison Pussy Riot and invade Western Ukraine should the claim succeed.Copyright © 2014 Dejan Djurdjevic