Dan Djurdjevic

My jumbled world of limbless dolls, of summer heat and mistletoe, is always just the same. My garden is a universe where all my dreams are made of floppy hats and ballet shoes, a spotted dog and rhyming tunes ("Tommy says hello"), and it seems for all the world just like an ordinary day. "All aboard!" the station whistleman has spoken to us all; and I know it's hard to fight against his will. My sister comes from playing school and Daddy brings the afternoon, it's always just the same; we take the dog down to the fields and let him loose to run amongst the hay. The evening's full of dinner smells, with silver bells and cockle shells... Why do things have to change, when it seems for all the world just like an ordinary day? The mp3 of the song can be downloaded here . Copyright © 2003 Dejan Djurdjevic

He's always around, sitting here, just talking; and after a while I realize that he can't be. When I ask him how it's possible, he laughs like I already know, and I try to forget that I jinxed the moment. So it's as if he never left, only I get older every time I see my face in the mirror; he stays the same. I was a thousand miles away when it happened: I remember the telephone ringing in a dream, I remember pinching myself in the darkness, and my mother's cracking voice. Now I'm only awake when I'm dreaming. He's in the hallway closet now, under sweaters in a wooden box, with the date he started living in my dreams. The mp3 of the song can be downloaded here . Copyright © 2004 Dejan Djurdjevic

While I'm on the subject of direct marketing... I remember back in 1987 I was studying for my law exams. My nerves were frayed and my patience was stretched to its limits. My house mates couldn't stand me nor would they accede to my requests for a bit of quiet so I could memorize those damn constitutional law cases. When I finally had the place to myself I sat down with my books in the upstairs "study" (ie. the "box" room where we stored our junk). Then I heard a knock. I looked out of the window and saw 2 women standing at the front doorway bearing Bibles. It was about as much as I could stand. I went downstairs determined to tell them to go to hell and didn't they have better things to do, etc. Yet when I opened the door I was confronted with 2 sweet older ladies, both smiling gently like Dianne Wiest playing a doting aunt. Instantly my heart and resolve both melted. "Hello young man. Have you considered creation versus evolution?" the...

The day before Christmas eve I had a call from someone wanting me to participate in a survey. Now lately whenever I get some kind of unsolicited marketing call I've been doing the "right" thing: threatening to report them to the relevant authorities because I'm registered on the "do not call list". Since I've been on that list I have had surprisingly few calls, but some still get through - probably one every 2 months. Anyway, it's about 7:30 pm. The kids are finally asleep in bed and I'm planning on putting my feet up and having a bit of R & R. Then the phone rings. I pick it up and I hear a click and a whirr. A pause. An echo. By this stage I'm pretty sure I know what's happening. I prepare myself to give the telemarketer an almightly blast. Nowadays I've noticed that telemarketers give back as well as you can dish it out. They don't like us just as much as we don't like them. The last one opened with: "Co...

I am dismayed by the continuing existence (and proliferation) of multi-level marketing (MLM) schemes like ACN , Melaleuca , Omegatrend (New Image International) and, of course, Amway . I am fundamentally opposed to such schemes for the principal reason that they are immoral . Here is why I think so: In an MLM scheme the focus of your “business” is not to provide goods or services to people. The focus of your “business” is to rope other people into your “business”. The provision of goods or services is incidental. Whenever a friend or acquaintance plucks up the courage to talk to me about their new “franchise” in an MLM scheme they usually say: “You haven’t heard of the company because they channel money that would have gone into advertising into making their product or service cheaper/better etc.” This is usually the first and last time any mention is made of the product or service. Instead the focus shifts to making you a part of the “business”. Why is the above such a problem...

So what's the deal with chiropractors? Are they quacks or are they genuinely qualified health care professionals? Let me say at the outset: there is an important role for chiropractors to play in the health profession. But I have some qualifying remarks, based on my own lengthy experience with back, neck and other joint problems: In my view a good chiropractor will stick to good joint (specifically vertebral) manipulation. They will do so conservatively and after warming up the region with massage or ultrasound or both. By contrast, I don't have a great deal of time for theories about chiropractic fixing "subluxation" or ensuring "realignment". Nor do I see how any purported "realignment" can fix the fact that one of your legs is shorter than the other as well as your anaemia, blood pressure, liver function and insecurities (as some might tell you). By way of background, chiropractic comes from a long tradition dating back to a man named DD Pa...

I remember in Beachwood High School there was this thug who used to terrorise the other kids. He was in the year ahead of me — an excellent athlete, tall, lithe and well muscled. But he was also streetwise and downright nasty. One day our freshman class had the misfortune of having to share a classroom with his (older) class due to some emergency. The teacher unwisely left us unattended for most of the period. The thug proceeded to press-gang some of my classmates into playing a sadistic game where they had to cane each other. Martin Middleton and I were playing our own “board game” (one we had invented) and watched the unfolding events with trepidation out of the corners of our eyes. Then the thug approached Martin and said: “Okay, you’re up next.” I still remember Martin calmly ignoring him. The thug became quite exasperated and aggressive at this “insubordination”. But no matter how dire Martin’s personal “Cuban Missile Crisis” became he continued to ignore the thug — as if obliviou...